Prengnat in Japan: Part 5 - Poppa class

Friday was a busy day.  I have my Japanese lesson every Friday and I'm now also taking tea ceremony class every 2nd and 4th Friday after my Japanese lesson.  No, I don't have to wear a kimono every time, the other ladies do not wear kimonos it's one of those I can if I want to things but will only do occasionally cause it isn't all that comfortable and takes forever.

After tea ceremony class it was back to the doctor for my monthly baby check.  She is up to 80% girl.  Jeff and I have decided to just call it a girl at this point if any one asks.  The doctor was really looking for anything that dangled and it sure looks like a girl to me!  I made my doctor happier this month by only gaining a little over 1 kg which is preferred in Japan.  I personally don't really care but it's funny to me.

After the doctor Jeff and I got cleaned up for a nice dinner out for the anniversary of our first date 17 years ago.  Jeff took a couple of bump pictures so here you go...

Sunday was very interesting for us.  Higashihiroshima city hall has free classes for new parents.  There is a Poppa and Momma class and a just Momma class.  Sunday was the Poppa/Momma class.  And "Poppa" seems to be used in Japanese for dad.  I'm taking the Momma classes in March and there are 3 of them as opposed to the just one day for the guys.

Jeff and I are getting much better at Japanese but not enough to handle this type of thing so I arranged to have an interpreter.  We were fortunate to get the same lady that had helped us previously.  I really like her and she does a great job.

There is a small booklet that they give us (all in Japanese, of course) that is Finding Nemo themed.  I'm guessing they were playing up the parental role of the dad in that movie.  The first part of the class is the poppas have to learn how to give the baby a bath.  There were little tubs set up and towels and clothes laid out and each station had a weighted baby doll.  The teacher went through a very precise set of instructions and demonstrated the procedure.  The instructions included exact room and water temperatures for bathing and a 8 step exact pattern process for wiping the baby's faces.  The Poppas then were set loose to try and wash their babies.  Jeff was super cute and extremely careful.  I thought it was interesting that they emphasized that bathing the baby is something that fathers do, not mothers.

Next we went to a different room where each of the guys drew a slip of paper that had a task on it.  They guys went up, two at a time and put on a weighted pregnancy vest thing.  It was shaped like a pregnant belly and breasts and weighed 13kg (roughly 26 lbs).  They then had to perform the task that was something their wives most likely did routinely.  Jeff had to leave the room, put on his shoes and take a walk down the hall.  I think he now understands much better why I'm wearing my slip-on shoes most days and not my knee high boots.  Other guys had to vacuum, pick up object scattered on the floor, try and cut their toenails with the belly in the way, make a futon bed, and lie down like they were sleeping.  I think the whole point was to have the guys empathize with their wives a little bit and understand why it takes a little longer for us to do things.  I think it worked cause I got a really nice back rub last night!

Jeff sporting his baby bump

At this point, Jeff is about 9 month to my 6 - lol!

The third section was a video in which they showed how babies react to their fathers and really stressed the importance of fathers spending time with their babies.  I think this is an attempt to make a cultural change in Japan.  The old way of thinking is that good fathers are just providers for the family but are really not all that involved with the kids.  Jeff and I both felt that a big part of the class was just trying to get the men more involved.

The whole thing was very interesting and I like the idea of Jeff being the bath master. 

Pregnant in Japan, part 4

This past Monday was a little difficult for me.  After I posted my last blog about being in the US, I was feeling pretty homesick.  Everything in Japan is just a little bit harder and some days I feel more up for the challenge than others.  I was missing my dogs, friends and family and being able to read things in the grocery store, driving my cute little car on the side of the road that makes sense, not being stared at where ever I go since I'm the only white lady, being able to find simple things like normal pillows and having this wonderful thing called central heating...  I had one good, solid day of feeling sorry for myself  (I spent the whole day on the uncomfortably hard couch under my blanket in our cold apartment watching American TV shows on Netflix) and then pulled myself together.  I started planning the next trip that Jeff and I are going to take and spent some good times with my friends here in Japan and everything is looking much better and I'm looking forward to the adventure of it again.

Had my regularly scheduled maternity check up visit on Friday.  In Japan they are pretty strict on the weight gain.  They want you to gain only 10 kg which is about 22 lbs through out the course of the pregnancy.  They really want you to have consistent weight gain and add a kg a month.  The first three months of visits, I gained absolutely no weight (I actually dropped 0.2 kg.  I think this was mostly due to muscle loss.  I was running around 30 miles a week and doing some exercises at home and cycling on the weekends.  And then I got queasy and pretty much did nothing except a little walking or biking to and from the train station, I definitely lost some muscle).  My doctor kept telling me "you can eat".  I wasn't sure if she was asking if I was too queasy to eat or if she was telling me to eat more because I wasn't gaining weight.  Either way, things changed this month...

This last visit I seemed to have made up for the last few months and gained almost 4 kg!!!  I think I have to blame most of that on my feeding frenzy when back in the US.  Between the Ben and Jerry's, pizza and Mexican food...  it is safe to say that I ate a few more calories than normal.  My doctor circled the number in red and told me that I shouldn't gain that much weight again.  That I need to only gain one kg a month for the rest of my pregnancy.  Personally I don't really care what I gain all that much.  I fully intend to lose it (I figure I took 9 months to gain it, I get 9 months to lose it.  Sounds fair, right?) but I thought the exchange was funny.

Next I was lying down on the table with my shirt up to expose my growing belly for the ultrasound.  As soon as the doctor sat down, the machine shut down.  There was much frowning and scurrying around by the doctor and the nurse and head scratching followed by the requisite amount of profuse apologies and nervous laughter.  Eventually they turned the machine off, let it sit a moment and then turned it back on again.  It booted up and all seemed good.  The doctor was talking on the phone with what seemed to be the ultrasound company to understand the problem.  She got off the phone squirted gel all over my belly and click, it turned off again.  Jeff had a pretty good view of the proceedings and thinks that the machine was overheating.  There was a box that was behind it and appears to have been blocking the air intake for the cooling fan.  Unfortunately he lacked the Japanese to explain that he is a nerd and understands these things.  So, more scurrying, apologies and waiting as the machine re-booted for the third time.  This time the doctor sat there, ultrasound thingy at the ready and as soon as the machine was working drove around my belly like a Californian trying to avoid rush hour traffic.  She grabbed all the measurements that she wanted, took a couple of pictures, declared everything good and done.  We all cheered.  About three seconds later the machine shut down and we all had a good giggle.

Japanese people hate to be wrong.  Last visit the doctor said "60% girl baby".  This visit "70% girl baby".  "If three visit same, then 100%".  This cracks Jeff and I up but we are stepping up our quest for good girl names.

Pregnant in Japan, part 3

Last blog I had a second doctor visit and registered the pregnancy at City Hall.  The next week I went in for the third doctor visit in three weeks.

This visit they were really happy since I had all the paperwork they wanted and coupons so they ran a whole bunch of tests on me to further verify everything was OK in addition to the ultrasound.  Everything checked out OK.  The doctor kept saying "you can eat".  I'm still not sure if she was trying to figure out if I was able to eat with the queasiness or if she was telling me it was OK if I eat more.  Japan is funny about weight gain in pregnancy.  They want you to only gain 10 kg.  This is about 22 lbs.  They want you to gain about 1 kg a month, no more.

So far I'm a little light on weight gain.  I think it's mostly due to muscle loss.  Since I've become pregnant, I stopped running.  It doesn't feel good anymore and I'm a big believer in listening to my body.  I walk a bunch, occasionally go for a hike and ride my bike to get around and occasionally do some light weight lifting or a cheesy prenatal workout or yoga video on the internet but that's about it.  My boots are loose around my calves so I know I've lost some muscle.  I'm not concerned about it and my doctor seems fine with it.

That checkup was fairly uneventful until my doctor realized I was over 35.  For some reason she thought I was younger.  I can't really tell how old Japanese women are and I guess she can't tell how old white people are - lol!  At that point she suggested I get an additional ultrasound at the Hiroshima University Hospital because they have much more up to date ultra sound equipment than here tiny little clinic and they should check to make sure everything is good.

This seemed like it would be fine.  This was on a Friday.  She called on Tuesday and asked if I could make an appointment the next day and I needed an interpreter with me because they didn't speak any English at the other hospital.  I exactly have an interpreter following me around making life easy so I explained that I didn't have anyone to interpret so she set the appointment for the next available time which was in 2 weeks.  I placed a couple of phone calls and managed to get the International S.O.S. guys to bug my insurance people and muster me up an interpreter for the appointment.

It was pretty much a group explanation of what can go wrong and what is detectable and availability of additional tests if things look wonky or if they are desired.  I then had the ultrasound where they thoroughly checked out the baby and made sure everything was going well.  I didn't realize that I would have the ultrasound that day.  As soon as I realized what was going to happen I was really nervous.  I was at 13 weeks and had not had an ultrasound since week 9.  Last year, I was pregnant and something went wrong between my 8 and 12 week checkups and the baby stopped developing and had no heart beat when I had my 12 week ultrasound.  There was a little thing in the back of my head that was afraid the baby would be dead again.  I screwed up the "take of shoes ritual" and then gave the wrong month for my last period.  I was such a flustered mess.  I managed to get everything sorted eventually and was supper excited to see that the baby was alive and moving around.  It was doing little fist pumps and wiggling it's legs.  It was pretty cool/freaky to realize that was inside my belly.

Everything checked out as good and I left the hospital a happy mamma and finally felt a little more like it was OK to feel like things would work out this time.  I didn't realize how much I was suppressing my excitement because I was afraid it would end badly again.  Jeff and I celebrated with my favorite prego food, grilled cheese sandwiches that night.

Two days later I had an uneventful visit at my normal doctor clinic and after that, Jeff and I went public with our news.  I'm now at 15 weeks and I'm grateful that I seem to be getting a little less queasy, and dizzy.  There is a lot of fish in Japan.  Fish smells are every where.  This is not ideal when you are pregnant and queasy.  I've been really missing American food.  I'm normally an extremely adventurous eater but pregnancy seems to have effectively shut down that part of me.  It's been a little challenging to be in a foreign country with such different dietary habits but at least I seem to be over the worst of it.  This is definitely an adventure!

Pregnant in Japan, Part 2

With the previous blog I left off after the first Dr. visit when the pregnancy was confirmed. I had a second appointment scheduled with the doctor in Hiroshima but that is about an hour away by public transit and seemed like a little further way than I really wanted to be from the place I was going to have to go regularly for checkup.

I spoke with the insurance people so see if I could get a doctor closer to where I actually live.  They assured me that there were no doctors that spoke English near me.  Fortunately, there is another resource for us, I think it's called International S.O.S. and after contacting them, they said there was a doctor in Saijo that spoke some English.  The doctor's office is a block and a half from my apartment.  Done!

The International S.O.S. people told us they are open on weekends and take walk-ins so we didn't need an appointment.  On Sunday morning we went down to the clinic. You take your shoes off as soon as you walk in the door and put on the slippers provided (this was made obvious by all the shoes in the entryway of the clinic and the slippers). Next was the extensive sign up process with the clinic (every new doctor's office you go to you get a different patient number and a new card).  First we had to signup at the main desk down stairs (which is a general health clinic), then we got the clinic card and went upstairs to the OBGYN clinic.  Very little of the paper work was English and none of the nurses speak any English.  By hand gestures and our limited Japanese we figured out where to go and what to do.  

At this point I was pretty much living in a state of perpetual queasiness and as the wait went on and on, I felt worse and worse.  After an hour we figured out the system for calling patience and realized that there was still a really long wait until they called us.  I think it was around 2 hours before it was our turn. At this point I was feeling very green.  We briefly met with the doctor and she checked me and the baby out and declared everything good.  She then said we needed to register the baby with the city office and that we needed to come back with the baby books and coupons in a week.  We were not entirely sure what she was talking about but she showed us a booklet someone else had and then handed me a paper to take to the city office and scheduled us an appointment for the following week.  She definitely made the point that we should schedule appointments whenever possible as the walk-in wait was terrible.

The next week I went down to the City Hall and asked where I had to go to register the pregnancy (basically I showed someone the paper and asked "where?" in Japanese and was pointed in the right direction).  I was handed a huge packet of what I can only assume is very useful information but of course, I can't read any of it because it is all in Japanese.  

Still, there were some useful bits.  I have are 2 baby books (one in English and one in Japanese) in which the doctor records all of my checkups, test results, the birth, vaccinations and goes on up through the first 6 years of the baby's life.  

The blue one is English

They contain the exact same information only the blue one is printed in English and the doctor writes a little more of the information in English (but not everything)

The other bit of useful stuff is a coupon book.  This has coupons for all of the ultrasounds, blood tests, urine tests, birth, hospital stays, pediatrician visits, dentist visits, optometrist visits, you name it, for the first 6 years of the baby's life.  The coupons seem to cover about half of the costs.  I was told that the coupons were like money.  If I loose them, they are gone and can not be replaced.  

I have no idea what this coupon is for.  There are a ton and they are all different colors.

I was also given a little badge to put on my purse that pretty much tells the world I'm pregnant.  This is useful for public transit.  There are special seats on the bus, street cars and train for the elderly, people with injuries that require them to use crutches, women carrying infants and pregnant women.  This means I can always get a seat.  This is really nice and has come in handy when I'm queasy.  I don't always sit in the special section but it's nice to have the option.  

This is my purse tag

This is the designation for the special seats.  It varies slightly but its pretty easy to figure out what it means. 

This still leaves about an inch of papers in the packet that I still have no idea what they are supposed to do or if they have any use at all.  The City Office tried very hard to be helpful but there was only one lady who spoke any English but she did not speak much.

How to complicate life when living in Japan...Get pregnant!!!

Yep, that's right blog readers, I'm pregnant!  I just finished up week 14 so I have some catching up to do on sharing some of the differences between Japan and the US.  I was pregnant about this time last year in the US when unfortunately at my 12 week checkup the baby no longer had a heart beat so I think I have a decent idea of how the first couple of appointments go US for comparison.

I'll start with the crazy lady at the hiking club.  Go back all the way to September and there is a post on the Japanese hiking club.  A couple of days before Jeff and I took this hike, I took a home pregnancy test that very clearly said that I was not pregnant.  I didn't think anything of it and continued on as normal.  Jeff and I did the hike as documented in the blog but I omitted a story.  There was one slightly crazy lady on the hike.  She was a nice crazy lady and she spoke good English but she had a strange way of talking like a stream of consciousness.  As an example, she asked where in America I was from.  I said Idaho.  She said "Ah!  Idaho.  Idaho potato.  I like potatoes.  I like to cook them in a pan with butter.  My son like potatoes he likes them in Japanese curry all cut up with carrots and meat.  I like potatoes more than sweet potatoes.  Sweet potatoes are no good in curry but they are good..."  And this continued on for about 40 minutes without a break just rolling from one subject to the next.

Why is this story part of the pregnancy blog, you are probably asking right about now?  Well, when we stopped for lunch and crazy lady got quiet, really quiet.  She looked at Jeff and then at me.  Then she very clearly said "You don't have a baby yet?  Don't worry you will soon." and then walked away.  It struck both Jeff and I as very odd and the way it happened it sort of gave me goose bumps and I normally just blow stuff like this off.  Jeff and I talked about it later that evening and it struck us both as really odd and a little creepy.  That night the dreams started.  Both Jeff and I had very vivid dreams that I was pregnant.  This had never happened before (or since for that matter) and went on for a couple of days.  At this point I decided to take another home pregnancy test, only this one was positive.

So we now had one negative and one positive tests and decided to get a doctor appointment as a tie breaker.  The way our insurance works here, we call them to set up appointments with new doctors.  So we explained what we needed the appointment for and that we needed a doctor that spoke English.  They said that they had many options in Tokyo, which is like telling someone in San Francisco they have to go to LA to get a doctor appointment.  After another phone call or two they found us "the only doctor that speaks English in Hiroshima".  They came back a day later and said that doctor was no longer practicing in Hiroshima but they found "the only other doctor that speaks English in Hiroshima".  So, I met with the guy in Hiroshima who spoke fantastic English and confirmed that I was in fact, pregnant.  He suggested I set up an appointment for the following week because at that point the baby should have a heart beat that the ultrasound can pick up and then I can "register the pregnancy with the city office".  I'll pick up at this point in a future blog.  This part is pretty different from the American system and fairly interesting.

Stay tuned!  And for those of you who are really not all that interested in the prego blogs, I'll still be having plenty of other types of stories, adventures and pretty pictures.