I've been home for almost 2 months now, it's time to wrap up this
expat blog. I'm stopping with a nice round number, this is my 100th
post. I'm not sure if I'll start another blog to replace this one.
Let's just see what I wind up doing with myself.
I
really believe that by doing this blog I get to write my own story. The
adventures that I'll remember are the ones I've written. The way I'll
remember is the way I've chosen to write it. Because of that, having
the proper ending to the story is important to me but also really
difficult to do. Nothing ruins a book or a movie faster than a lame
ending. I feel like this is my version of an indie movie where nothing
is really quite resolved since I'm still living the adventure and even
though I'm no longer living in Japan, that experience has forever
impacted me as a person.
People always ask me if
I'm glad I went to Japan. Yes, yes and YES! It was an awesome
experience. I learned so much and grew as a person. I loved living in a
foreign culture. I got to experience so many things that I would not
have been able to as a tourist and I feel that I have a much better
understanding of Japanese culture because of it.
With
that being said, I'm so glad to be home. It is a little odd being
back. Everything is the same but I'm quite different, and not just
because I lived in Japan for a year but I also came home with a baby. I
have been trying to figure out how to set up my new life here and how I
fit into the places and peoples lives that I left. I think that is
something difficult to do when you have a baby, but even more difficult
when you have a baby when living abroad for a year. I'm starting to
find a routine and make a nitch for Wren and I.
Trying
to explain how I feel is difficult. The closest I can come to is the
feeling after you just finish reading a really good series. One with a
ton of books that takes you long enough to read that you really feel
like you know the characters and that they are friends. The type you
stay up until 3 o'clock in the morning to finish because you have to
know how it ends. When you are all done, you are happy that it all
worked for them out but not sure what to do next. That sweet but every
so slightly bitter feeling where you miss the characters in you book.
That's kind-of how I feel. Like Japan was just one crazy dream and I'm
now back to my real life.
It's been a little difficult
to stay connected to that experience but it is something I would really
like to try to do. Japan was too special and meaningful to let it fade
away. If I could go back in time and talk to myself when Jeff and I
were discussing whether we should go or not I would definitely tell my
younger self to go.
I hope to go back to Japan some day
and show my daughter where she was born and teach her a little about
where I lived for a year. I would like to go back and see some of the
people I left behind and dearly miss. A piece of my heart will always be in Japan. Sayonara!
