Saying sayonara

This has been a very difficult week for me.  We are wrapping up our year here in Japan and starting our preparations to move back to Boise.  Many of the preparations are logistical.  I've closed out my Japanese bank account and we are working with the moving company to get things shipped back to the US, on Monday we are closing out our cell phones and changing our residency. 

The part that has really been difficult is saying goodbye to the wonderful people that I have come to know and love while living in Japan this year.  We've went to a dinner and said goodbye to the hiking club and introduced them to Wren.  She was on every hike with the hiking club that we went on, I found out I was pregnant shortly after our first hike.  I said goodbye to the ladies at the tea ceremony class.  I enjoyed learning with them every 2 weeks.  They were super sweet and were also happy to see Wren (I had not been back since I had her).  I said goodbye to my coworkers at the YMCA and they also met Wren for the first time.  I have to laugh at the number of Japanese ladies who worked there who said they had no idea I was pregnant.  I felt HUGE, but I guess it wasn't as obvious to them.  I stopped working there 6 weeks before my due date so I guess I still got a bit bigger but I am still amazed.

The two hardest people to say goodbye to were my Greek friend Despina who I met through the YMCA and Ito-san, my Japanese language teacher.  Despina has an infectious enthusiasm and energy that just makes my heart happy.  Her youthful innocence (shes about 12 years younger than me) was refreshing and wonderful.  I hope that she can stay so sweet!  Ito-san has taught me not only Japanese language and culture (she also took me to the flower arranging class and tea ceremony class but also talked about Japanese culture during our lessons) but she became like family to me.  Today was our last lesson together.  She is the most thoughtful person ever!  She arranged special things for my family when they visited, completely unsolicited based on little details she remembered from me talking about my family.  She took a Japanese children's book and translated it so I can read it to Wren in.  She also asked if she could read books over Skype to her.  Just writing about these goodbyes has me crying again!

I think it is difficult to make friends when living in a foreign country with a language barrier, but I am hoping that the friends that I have made will be friends for life.  Thank goodness for modern technology that makes the world a little smaller.

As much as I will miss pieces of Japan, I am looking forward to going home and enjoying my American friends and my dogs.  I think my dog sitter is ready to be relieved of her burden.  I'm sure I'll have another post or two when I get home.  There are a few things that I meant to write about (or have been trying to bully Jeff in to writing about) but this chapter in my life is winding down and making room for the next one.  I'll be flying back to Boise late on August 5th.  I'm sure I'll have a few tips on flying with a 2 month old by the time the travel is done.  I'm not looking forward to trying to figure out what we need to take with us for 3 weeks to keep Wren happy (what we can't take on the airplane will take about 3 weeks to get to us in Boise, which is about forever if you want it but don't have it and don't want to buy another one). 

We start packing things up tomorrow and the movers come on Monday.  This has been an amazing year!

Sayonara Japan!  I will miss you!

Himeji-Jo

Himeji-Jo is supposedly Japan's most beautiful castle.  It restored recently and is about an hour and a half from Higashihiroshima by train. It is really a same but somehow Jeff and I never made it to see the castle.  When Jeff's mom visited a couple of weeks ago they went to the castle and said it really was quite beautiful.  I decided to stay home with Wren that day since it was supposed to be 88' and 85% humidity.  The "feels like" on my weather app was 99'F, too hot for a 6 week old baby. 

Last Saturday, I got up early and went to the castle while Jeff watched Wren.  It was great!  It was a little strange being away from the baby.  I had only gone out to dinner with out her before and there is a big difference between a meal and a half day trip but I think it was good for Jeff to have some time with his daughter and good for me to have a little break from my mom duties.

It was still extremely hot at the castle when I went.  Jeff and his mom went on a week day and it was much less crowded for them.  It was pretty packed when I was there.  To get to the top of the castle you have to go up 6 flights of very steep stairs (they are almost as steep as a ladder).  There is really only enough room for 2 people to go up or down at any one time so it only takes a couple slow people to really make the trip to the top take forever.  I had to laugh as I was standing in the polite slow moving mass of sweating humanity making my way through the castle and appreciate how patient Japanese people are.

You also have to take your shoes off in the castle.  You are handed a bag to put your shoes in and they collect the bags as you exit.  They don't want people to scuff up the newly refinished floors with their yucky shoes.

Here are some of my favorite pictures.  I grabbed the best ones from both Jeff's visit and mine.

Here is the main entrance to the castle.  There is no direct route to the actual castle, the paths to the castle wind around.  This was done for defense, it made it very difficult for attackers to get to the main keep.

This shows a little bit of how elevated the castle is from the surrounding area.

Making your way to the keep.  You can see the holes in the wall to the left, defenders of the castle can shoot arrows down on the invaders walking where this picture was taken.  This is very typical of the path to the castle.

 

I just liked this picture.

You have entered the no-shoe zone!

Behind Eloise, you can see the really steep stairs.

This picture shows the inside of the castle and also one of the bizarre things that you see often in Japan, people wearing towels on their heads when it's hot to soak up their sweat.  It looks really hot to me and an interesting fashion choice.

Looking up at the roofs

There was also a very nice garden on the castle grounds.  Unfortunately, due to the crowds I was unable to check out the garden but Jeff and Eloise did.

It was a great day and a nice last excursion before I leave the country.

Japanese photo shoot

Before we left Japan, I really wanted to get a family photo taken in kimonos.  There are a ton of photo studios in Japan and many of them have formal kimonos that you can rent and they help you get them on correctly and take your photo.  Today was our day!

We walked down to the studio, it was less than a half mile away.  They immediately knew who we were since there aren't that many white people that show up and we had a reservation.  They never even asked who we were, lol.  They gave us a catalog with the different kimonos at different price points in it.  Jeff and I each picked a kimono and then they showed us the options for Wren.  Because she is so tiny the didn't have anything that would fit her but it seem like with the babies they put them in these rather large looking kimonos but they are actually rather small at the waist and don't wrap around that far, they are just long and have enormous sleeves.

Once the outfits were picked out, Jeff watched Wren while they got to work on me ;-).  First they had me put on the equivalent of Japanese underwear, a thin white cotton robe that ties.  Over top of that I put on a pink dressing gown type robe.  Then then started working on my hair and makeup.  One lady did my makeup at the same time another did my hair.  I'm not sure how they didn't get in each others way, it was pretty impressive. 

Once they had me painted and polished they got me dressed.  The first step was to smoosh my chest and then pad out my middle so that I was as cylindrical as possible.  An hourglass figure is not what you want in a kimono.  All my efforts to loose my pregnancy weight were wasted for this outfit, haha!  They literally wrapped two hand towels around my waist to make me more columnar.  Once I was all padded up they put on the under kimono.  This has a fancy collar that is visible.  On top of that went strip of cloth that looks like 3 other under kimonos but is just 2 inches of layered cloth.  The kimono goes on top of that.  The length is one size fits most.  They adjust the kimono so that the bottom is the correct length and put a tie around the waist.  They then arrange everything so that it is smooth, add a few more ties and then the obi (the wide belt).  They used a really fancy tie to that there were 3 parts to it and the whole thing went around me a couple times.  The whole process is really quite impressive.

Once I was all dressed, it was Jeff's turn and I watched Wren.  They gave him a special t-shirt to wear and then some padding over his chest and stomach.  On top of that went an under kimono, a kimono-like robe with an obi and a skirt-like thing that went over the kimono.  A second robe went on top (that reminded me of a graduation gown) and it had a fancy chain that went across and connected the two sides.  We both had tabi socks and sandals to wear.

Once he was dressed we got Wren dressed up and they started taking pictures.  They did a really good job of trying to get her to look at the camera.  It's so hard with such a young baby, she isn't even 7 weeks yet.  They took a couple pictures of us outside, and then inside with two backgrounds.  The strange one was they had me sit on a stool, they clothes pinned the kimono so that it looked perfect and then they put this big cushion on my lap and tied it behind me.  They then put a little chair on the cushion and put Wren in the chair and had me hold her head up.  They took the kimono that she was wearing earlier and then tied the whole thing around me and her so that it was up under her chin.  I couldn't move at all.  It was a strange way to do things but it didn't look bad when we saw the pictures.  Still not my favorite.

Once we were done with all the pictures we expected to take, they asked if they could take some of just Wren.  We couldn't really argue with that.  They put her in two different outfits.  One was a little fairy dress with wings and the other was a little dinosaur type outfit which was a hood and diaper cover that were green with colored spines.  It was adorable. 

After all the photos were done we got back in our regular clothes.  I counted 27 pieces of clothing as they were helping me undress but it's possible there was more since they took it all apart so quickly.  It was a rather impressive pile when they were done.

We then got to look at all of the photos.  Our original plan of just getting one was quickly tossed as they really turned out cute and the ones of just Wren were fantastic.  The photo studio asked if they could use the photos of Wren in the studio (they had pictures of other kids hanging up, too) Jeff and I said that was fine.  I don't think they get that many blue eyed cuties so I think for them it was a bonus to get to use the photos.

All in all, it was a fun time and the pictures turned out great.  Wren was a really good sport about the whole thing.  She has been super tolerant of the goofy things we have asked her to put up with.  We pick up the professional photos in 2 weeks and we also get a digital copy so I will post them once I get them.  In the mean time, I hope you enjoy these lesser quality photos that Jeff and I took.

Jeff and Wren, so Cute!!!

Me and my little girl

I was talking to Wren in this one and Jeff caught me

Wren in the little monster costume

Almost a smile...

She kept getting lost in her hood and like checking out the inside of it, it was really cute

The ladies taking photos of Wren, it took a lot of people to keep her happy and looking the right direction.  They had far better luck than I did when taking passport photos, haha!

Hmmm...  This one is out of order but too sleepy to fix it.  This is the full view of Jeff's outfit.  It was pretty classy.

They had a little mini-crib on wheels that was super handy for having a place for Wren to hang out and for getting her clothes and diaper changed.  They also had a ton of fluffy little girl dresses.  You can see some of them behind Jeff.

July 7th - Tanabata

Tanabata is a Japanese festival on July 7th.  It has origins in China.  It celebrates the meeting of the deities Orihime and Hikoboshi (represented by the start Vega and Altair).  According to legend the Milky Way separates these lovers, and they are allowed to meet only once a year on the 7th day of the 7th month. 

In Japan people celebrate by writing wishes on small pieces of paper and hanging them from bamboo, sometimes with other decorations.  I saw these at the grocery store and also at the hospital when I took Wren for her 1 month check up.  (She is very strong and healthy but a little bit small.  No surprise there given how short Jeff and I are.)  My Japanese language teacher brought me bamboo and some decorations and some wishes that she had written and some blank pieces of paper for Jeff and I to write our own wishes on.  It was super sweet.  It also reminded me a little of decorating a Christmas tree, hahaha!

Here is the bamboo with all it's decorations, isn't it cute!

This is a wish that Ito-san wrote for Wren.  It is my understanding that is says that she hopes Wren will grow up and be healthy.

This is a wish that Ito-san wrote for me.  I think it says that she hopes we will meet again (after I move back to Boise).

Jeff and I wrote a wish for Wren.  I wrote one for Jeff and he wrote one to me.  I also wrote one for Ito-san.  I am really going to miss her!

I thought this was a really cute tradition and I enjoyed it.  Since Ito-san was nice enough to share it with me, I thought I'd share it with you!  ;-)

Osaka

So, in order to get Wren back to the Unites States with us, we need to get her a passport.  In order to get a passport we need to "present her at a US Embassy" with the necessary paperwork.  The nearest Embassy for us is in Osaka, which is about 2.5 hours by Shinkansen (fast train) and 3.5 hours by car. 

The paperwork was non-trivial.  I pawned this off on Jeff.  I figured if I could go through pregnancy and birth in a foreign country, he could deal with the paperwork.  Fortunately, his office helped him get the paperwork started.  First, the birth had to be reported at the city office in Higashihiroshima.  This took Jeff 2 days, 4 trips back home for more paperwork and about 5 hours.  From this we got a birth certificate and Wren's residence card.  Once he had these pieces, he contacted the Embassy and set up an appointment.

We had about a dozen pages of paperwork that needed photocopied in triplicate.  Jeff filled them all out so I know very little about what it asked other than every place I had ever lived and what dates.  This he asked me.  The part that I had to do was get a passport photo for Wren.  I downloaded an App to get the sizing correct and her head and eyes where they needed to be in the photo.  It took 3 tires to get an App that would work.  One wanted to send me a photo to a US address.  The second kept having "under construction errors" and the third finally would work.  She had to have a white background so I put her on a white blanket.  There couldn't be shadows on her face, her eyes had to be open and she had to be facing straight ahead directly in to the camera that was directly in front of her face.  This was not an easy thing to do with a baby less than a month old.  Her head always wants to roll to the side and if her eyes are open, she's wiggling.  After many many attempts I got a photo that I thought would work. 

The photos we used for Wren's passport.  The App puts them in this format so they can be printed in 4x6 size and have  2" photos

We decided to drive even though it would take longer because all appointments were in the morning.  This meant that we would do an over night trip.  That long with a tiny baby means gear.  The additionaly baby stuff made driving the easier option.

The drive went ok with only one stop for a changing and feeding.  Japanese rest stops are amazing.  they are every 20k, most have food (all have vending machines) and the bathrooms are spotlessly clean.  They even have fresh flowers in them.  We got to the hotel really late and Jeff went on a quest for food.  He found a "Happy Australian" restaurant which was actually an Outback Steakhouse and we had bacon cheese burgers with fries.  They were AMAZING!  I miss western style hamburgers and this was the first chain restaurant we have been to in Japan (with the exception of getting a couple of milk shakes and fires at McDonalds). 

Jeff and Wren in our hotel with Osaka out the window

We got up the next morning and headed off to the Embassy.  There was a line out front and security guards.  We left our cell phones at the hotel since the website said we could not take them in.  It didn't say that the stroller had to stay outside but apparently it did.  There were two other strollers out there with ours.  We got through security and then went up to the correct floor of the building.  There were three windows that reminded me of movie theater windows.  We gave them our documents and waited around.  They checked our information and made a couple minor corrections.  At one point I had to hold Wren up so the guy on the other side of the window could see her and we had to raise our right hands and swear that everything was correct to the best of our knowledge and Wren was the baby we claimed she was.  That was it.  Very anti-climatic.  Presenting your baby at the Embassy sounds much more interesting than it was.  The whole thing took an hour.  Wren was great the whole time and only started loosing it on the way out in the elevator.  We rolled the stroller back to the hotel (she is happy when we are moving) and made it back to the hotel where we changed and fed her.  We had late checkout so we took a quick nap before leaving the hotel.

We hopped over to a subway station and headed over to Osaka-Jo or Osaka Castle.  It is huge.  The moat and surrounding grounds are very impressive.  We decided not to go inside because it would be difficult with the stroller and we were short on time.  We wandered around for a bit, ate a couple of pork filled buns (which are delicious!) and then Wren decided it was time for another feeding/change.  We took care of her and by then it was time to head back to the car and back towards home.  The drive back was rather uneventful and the leftover spagetti I had waiting in the fridge when we got home was great since it was pretty late. 

Jeff with Wren on her first subway ride

This is a building on the castle grounds with the city in the background.  I love this photo of old and new.

Jeff and Wren in front of the castle

The castle where you can see it a little better

Me being silly

The castle from the far side of the moat

It was a really good first trip with a baby and has given us more confidence to go other places and do things.

Staying in the Hospital in Japan

Wow, finding the time to write this is a little more difficult than I thought it would be.  I think I can get better at making time now that I have a better idea of Wren's schedule but I think my pace is going to slow a little.  Let's see if I can finish up the story of the hospital stay quickly.

Going back to where the last blog left off.  I had just given birth and the hospital let Jeff and I stay in the labor room so that Jeff could have some time with Wren before they kicked him out of the hospital.

Jeff and I were able to hang out in the labor room until 4:00 PM the following day when I was moved to a group room.  All of the private rooms were occupied.  The group room consisted of 4 women with beds and newborns, a bathroom.  The shower was down the hall and you had to sign up for it and reserve a time.  They also took Wren that night, from around midnight until 6 AM so that I could get some sleep but since I was sharing a room with 3 other people that had babies crying at all hours of the night and lights going on and off all the time, I really didn't sleep much.  The biggest bummer with the group room was the visiting policy.  No visitors were allowed in the group room.  Jeff was only allowed in the lobby but Wren wasn't allowed in the lobby.  This meant that Jeff couldn't even hold his daughter until I was moved in to a private room.

The following day I was moved to a private room.  This was much better.  It was quiet and I had my own bathroom and shower.  Jeff could come and visit me in the private room from 1 PM to 8 PM.  This worked some days but not all of them since they scheduled things in the afternoon.  Every day there were a couple of scheduled activities from a tutorial on how to bathe the baby, care of the baby after leaving the hospital and things like that.

Here are some of the things that struck me as really odd about the Japanese hospital that go 180' against what they tell you to do in the US. 

The baby bedding was big fluffy quilts.  In the US this is considered to be a smothering hazard and they say never use quilts or have anything fluffy in the crib.

They keep the babies really warm.  The hospital was extremely hot and then the bundled up the poor kids so much.  With reading about SIDS they say not to have the babies overly hot when they sleep.  Apparently they have different ideas in Japan.  Also, in the US you usually cover a babies head to keep them warm.  The little heads were the only part of the babies that were not covered in Japan.

In the US you are not supposed to submerge the baby in water until the umbilical stump falls off.  They submerged Wren in water every day for a bath starting on the morning after she was born.  This was actually a little strange. You were supposed to drop your baby off for bath time every morning at 8:45 and they would check out the baby, weigh it and then return it to you about an hour later.  No one explained this to me so of course I didn't do it.  They got really annoyed when I didn't drop her off.  Not sure how I was supposed to have known.  Oh well!  I got it figured out after they got mad at me.

The clothing for the babies was HUGE.  The poor little things were just swimming in their little kimonos.

For comparison, here she is the same day as we were leaving the hospital in a western style outfit.

Another thing that was strange was the insistence of feeding the baby a bottle the first couple days.  The thought in the US seems to be that you just nurse the baby if you are planning on breastfeeding and your milk will come in.  The baby will loose some weight but that's ok.  Once you get the hang of feeding, the weight will be re-gained.  If you bottle feed at an early age it could make it harder for the baby to learn to nurse well.  This was not the way it is looked at in Japan.  They were very insistent that Wren was bottle fed in addition to nursing.  Even once my milk came in, it took a lot of convincing to let me nurse her without supplementing with a bottle.  It was very frustrating.

The other thing they did that was very frustrating was insisting that the baby be fed at least every 3 hours.  It didn't matter if it was the middle of the night and she was happily sleeping.  I had to wake her up and feed her.  Wren is a fairly sound sleeper so to get her to wake up and eat was very difficult and took a long time.  The nurses would wait around to make sure I woke her up.  It meant that both Wren and I did not get enough sleep.  Babies need a lot of sleep, I think not letting them keep to their own schedule is a mistake.

In keeping with the all natural theme, I was given very little pain medicine after the birth.  With each meal I was given a pill to help stop contractions and an antibiotic for the first 3 days.  I was given a pain pill only if I complained a bunch for the first 2 days and that was it, despite the long line of stitches in a sensitive location.  It just seemed like they made things more uncomfortable than necessary for no reason.

Speaking of uncomfortable...

That tiny square is about 2 inches thick and that is the pillow you get at the hospital.  It is filled with little round beads of some sort and crinkles when you move.  I had Jeff bring me a pillow from home.  What they did have was an awesome pillow for propping up the baby for nursing.  I have not been able to find anything like it which is super frustrating.  I even contacted the hospital to see if they could tell me where to find one or what brand it was but they just said it was from a medical supplier and that I could not get one.  I ordered a pillow on Amazon cause I don't like the one I got here, hopefully it will be better.

The food at the hospital was actually really good.  It was Japanese style meals which meant breakfast was miso soup, rice, a small salad and protein (usually fish).  Here are some pics of meals.

Breakfast, fish and snow peas with soup, rice, green tea and milk.

Lunch:  Tofu, fruit, rice, salad, yogurt, green tea.

They also did one "special" meal to celebrate for new mothers.  I thought this was a really cute idea.  Here are some pics of it.  It was huge!

Here is a picture of our interpreter Ume Abe-san.  She was hugely helpful and a lovely person.  I really enjoyed her and think she did a wonderful job being in a very personal and emotionally charged situation without feeling intrusive while doing a great job at interpreting.

Cultural differences and language barriers aside, I feel like Wren and I got good care in the hospital.  The care wasn't always what I felt like I wanted but I do think they had our best interests in mind.  The language barrier made things tough since only one of the nurses spoke a little English.  I think if they could have explained things to me or answered my questions the hospital stay would have been more pleasant and less frustrating.  I'm sure I was frustrating to them as well for my lack of understanding.

Five days at the hospital (any hospital) is too long.  I still felt really beat up when I got home but it was so nice to be in my own bed and keep my own schedule.  No one was waking me up to take my temperature or blood pressure and I could just feed Wren when she was hungry.  Jeff took a week off of work and was a huge help.  My mom came out for two weeks to help out after Jeff went back to work.  I just had my first day on my own yesterday which was Wren's one month birthday (which makes me realize how dreadful Ive been about blogging, oops!)  I think I can get better :-)

That's all for now.